10 Annoying things about wearing “The Collar”

10 Sep

The Collar…it’s become a permanent accessory, I was trying to think of the one accessory that I wear 24/7 now and quite honestly, there isn’t one, except for my equally awesome Biomet Spine Fusion Bone Stimulator.

I know, I know…all so jealous, but I must say, I’ve grown accustomed to these two marvelous accessories.  I say that without a hint of sarcasm because I have a strong expectation that these two accessories are increasing my chances of a full recovery.  Nevertheless I have come up with my own…

TOP 10 ANNOYANCES about “The Collar” (and bone stimulator)

10. The Collar clashes with all but 2 outfits

9.  Any time I tell a man that I am wearing a bone stimulator, he laughs.

8. I can’t drink out of a regular cup

7. I can only gaze down, but can’t actually see my feet

6.  When I brush my teeth, toothpaste and what you normally spit out ends up all over the collar pads.

5. I constantly drop food or liquid in the collar that gets stuck or stays wet between my chin and the collar pads.

4. The beeping sound on the bone stimulator that signals that one of the pads has come away from my neck wakes me up at least twice a night.

3.  The collar requires that I sleep almost upright in order to get any amount of sleep

2. The back of my hair is never dry because it is always in the collar

1. I haven’t been able to wash or comb the bottom half of the back of my hair since August 16th

Annoying as it may be, The Collar is forcing me to move at a slower, more intentional pace.  Here’s to hoping that what I have learned thus far really sticks on the back side of my recovery.


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